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Published on March 18th, 2012 | by TheDapperDork


Mass Effect 3 (or “baby why you wanna hurt me so bad?”)

Well folks, thats it. All done. Nothing to see here. The fat lady has belted out her last note.


I think that there are many who would agree with me, when I say that Mass Effect has been one of the greatest sci-fi video game series of all time. Perhaps simply one of the greatest sci-fi series across all genres. Where Star Wars episodes 1 – 3 have failed, it has succeeded. Seemlessly blending war, politics, love and hate into one beautiful package, for which it has earned the adoration of legions of devoted fans.


Mass Effect 3 continues to deliver the superb quality expected of the series. The gameplay is standard third person shooter fare but it never feels stale. The signature dialogue wheel returns along with it’s moral choices. Unfortunately this time around, it seems there are far fewer decisions to be made between the saintly paragon and the dirty fighing renegade. Despite this, you will rapidly start on your path towards the light or the dark, no doubt continuing old habits from past titles.


Now there is one thing the Mass Effect series has always done better than just about anyone else, it makes you care. Whether it is making you want to keep one of your team safe from all the horrors of war or making you fantasise about watching your enemies go “squish” under your massive space boot, you will more often than not give a damn what happens to the inhabitants of your story. This installment turns the emotional punch up to 11, worlds will fall, loved ones will die and you will know the taste of victory as well as the bitterness of defeat. However you choose to play Mass Effect 3 it will never be an easy ride for the soft of heart and if you should happen to make a poor choice, you should best be prepared to choke back a sob…. or twelve…


ME3 is, for the most part, bug free. There are no game breaking glitches to speak of and what few minor issues there are seem to be limited to conversation scenes. A bad camera angle here, a jittering hand there and once of twice a completely abscent character, seeming talking to you from the next dimension over.


There is no getting away from the fact that Mass Effect 3 is a fantastic example of story telling in video games but ofcourse there is the elephant in the room…. and he is getting ready to take a big ol’ dump on your favourite rug. I speak ofcourse of the now famous ending. Now, if this were a review I would avoid any possible spoilers but for the sake of venting just a tiny bit I shall be thinking of this article as an “opinion piece”.


Let us speak frankly. Mass Effect 3’s ending is a kick in the teeth. After 5 years, 3 games and doubtless over a hundred hours of play it is my opinion that the ending (all of them) take everything that the series has been building to and flushes it down the toilet. To reach the conclusion of this epic series and be told “well thats yer galaxy humped” really does make the blood boil. There is ofcourse rumour that this is some kind of falsehood, that the real ending may yet be to come (see ) and some fans are so enraged by the current state of affairs that they have raised over 50,000 dollars for charity in an attempt to have Bioware alter the ending to something a little more deserving ( ). while I genuinely truly loathe the ending of Mass Effect 3 I cannot get behind the idea of demanding an artist change their work to please their audience, though it must be said that this does show just how devoted and hugely charitable the Mass Effect fan community is capable of being.


I think the note of charity and devotion seems like a nice enough place to leave matters. But there is still one matter left unseen to. Should you buy Mass Effect 3? Yes, a thousand times, yes. For all of five horrible, disappointing minutes, this is one of the finest games that money can buy. It’s universe lives and breathes, it’s characters range from charming to lovable to hateful and across the twenty six hours it took to complete the game I was never once bored.


So there we have it. Pick up Mass Effect 3, enjoy the good times (of which there are many) but be prepared to be left with an overpowering heartache come the end.



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About the Author

Video games? Comics? Anime? Bring them before me, for I wish to consume them! TheDapperDork! Jack of all trades, master of none!

2 Responses to Mass Effect 3 (or “baby why you wanna hurt me so bad?”)

  1. Eddiwin says:

    Great review!

    Possible spoiler alert below. -\/
    With regard to the ending though I found it overpowering to the extent where after many, many days spent exploring the ME Universe I spent about 5 Minutes, on the spot, bleeding out, wondering what I wanted for the unvierse.

    I’ll argue from the other side. ME3’s ending was perfect – and the moral is that Life doesnt have story book endings. Sometimes its about the hard choices.

    Ed :)

    • TheDapperDork says:

      I wholeheartedly agree on the lack of storybook endings sentiment but…. it’s shepard…. the idea of not having a joyous ending stung bad. But ultimately I feel it was the abrupt nature of it, five minutes from a gallant charge to an untimely end. Bring on this extended cut i say :D

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